One might ask, what kind of homepage is it, where the author is not interested in discussions, not even in excessive spreading and advertising the site, has not a separate Facebook-fan-site, but only quietly and silently writes for herself, without really wanting to know, whether and who is reading this, and what they may think about it. I also reflected on it, and some answers came to me, which I wish to share with you.
I opened this homepage after I was almost completely disgusted by the social interaction on Facebook. I normally used Facebook for some years as a connection tool for friends in other countries, as well as a work tool for my students. I also always liked to share music and my photos. Only a few years ago I started to look for those, who might be interested in spirituality, as I understand it. You must know, if you choose this path, that it sometimes can feel lonely when you wake up, and wish to share the joy of discovery, but the rest of the world around you, whether at home, or at work, is still deep in the dream of “my” life and “my” problems. Therefore I founded a spiritual group “Simply Being” which quickly counted over 600 members. I could actually feel from the very beginning, that very few understood spirituality, or were seriously interested.
Many seemed simply to be addicted to Facebook, or they wanted spirituality to improve their personal circumstances, to experience, or prolong special states, to play a dangerous play with energies, to make friends and sexual acquaintances, as a means of escaping everyday life and bad relationships at home, in order to be cured from a disease, to gain popularity through likes, comments and many Facebook friends, to assert themselves, to shine, to be interesting, to argue, to complain, to be entertained…
In addition, many wanted to contact me, hear my advice, or discuss and argue with me about spirituality, which quickly became too much exchange. Often became this exchange also too personal, and I admit, I also got sometimes too much involved, although I was, if at all, only interested in an awakened, intelligent exchange partner, with whom I could grow spiritually, and where we could inspire each other. Unfortunately, I have not found such a partner. What I have found were people, who wished to improve their life situation or were interested in awakened life only in a superficial way, as well as some who were spiritually fucked up, the so called spiritual nihilists, which simply wanted to argue or convince others of their fucked up opinion about life, non-duality and spirituality.
There are for example innumerable pseudo-spiritual nihilists who have accumulated tons of intellectual knowledge about spirituality, which they never understood to apply in practice. Such people have now their own pages on Facebook which, with typically nihilistic, provocative titles, indicate their own frustration, neediness and confusion, such as “Go fack yourself” or “Advaitaholics Anonymous”. The owners prostitute themselves on these pages in order to get some admirers and some likes, They fight the spiritual truths and teachers, as well as life itself, and make themselves ridiculous with non-chivalrous but meaningless statements and clown-like behavior. More or less successful. There is actually an audience for everything in this world.
Actually it is a very common thing with those, who searched for improvement of their personal situation in spirituality, and obviously did not find it. Now they are trying at least to get some attention and recognition from another, as well confused and lonely readers, because they know somewhere, deep inside their hearts, that they are dead, that they are burned out, that they are frustrated, that they are missing something, and that they want to get this something at all costs. A couple of likes and comments can perhaps briefly give them the kick and the feeling of being alive.
Sometimes it is really embarrassing and painful to watch what we, people are willing to do, when boredom and restlessness, neediness, loneliness chase us into the corner. Until we see it…. But, we all have to go through it, and either we are able to see it, so this rate race can stop, or we keep spinning the wheel of samsara.
And I decided to get out of the universe of likes, neediness and idiotic discussions. I have never accumulated tons of spiritual knowledge, and the practical understanding of what awakening, or our true nature is, came almost immediately with the conceptual knowledge, but I could also notice that, getting involved in interactions with pseudo-spiritual seekers, their approval or disapproval, their likes, comments, criticism and flattery, were just another way to escape from myself and life. I understood, that to involve in discussions with that kind of persons, was actually the opposite of what I wanted.
While I was active on Facebook, I was contacted by different people every day, which just felt uncomfortable to me, knowing that these people wanted something other than spirituality. All of this was very instructive on the way from awakening to implementing the insights into my life, but on the other hand I want to avoid such superficial, needy, self-centered people in the future, and also avoid their not really intelligent comments on my side.
Broadly speaking, comments that I know from Facebook consist either of often too sweet compliments, of claims seeking attention or of fruitless, intellectual and theoretical battles. It was a little bit better in my last group “Awareness” in which about four, out of 40 members, really read the contributions, and they seemed to feel a lot of what was posted in the group in an experience-based way. The few who understood to ask appropriate, experience-based questions, were really wonderful to experience. Still I am glad to have left Facebook, where people wrote me on daily basis, asking how they can improve their life situations, or wanted to sell me their confused claims.
I am not a therapist, and I am not here to help to improve anybody’s life situation. I am also not here to get some attention and likes, or in order to get friends, or to argue with you, or to entertain you. The experience of recent years has cured me of the rest of such need.
I am here to talk about finding that dimension within us, which is beyond our life stories, beyond entertainment, beyond our neediness, and our seeking for attention. I am here to talk about the lasting peace and happiness that can be discovered. Since I know that it is possible, I share it with you. Not in order to convince anybody, or get some attention, not in order to discuss it, or get some appreciation, but because it is the truth, that everybody can find for oneself, if he wants to.
That I don’t think much about advertising my site is, because I know anyway that there are only extremely few who are really and seriously interested in the truth, in self-knowledge, in self-inquiry. Living truth, living life in totality, living in reality is a hard work, and only for those with courage, endurance, honest hearts and mature minds. And since seeking such persons is like looking for a needle in a haystack, I can just as well leave it. Actually I trust completely the unfolding of life, and I know, that, if someone should find me, or another one, who talks about real spirituality, he or she will be brought to us. By life itself.
Discussing whether what I write may be true, right or not is pointless, because, I already live it and simply know the benefits too good to be convinced of the opposite. What I can do, is only to grow in this knowing, share the joy, and encourage you to try it out.
This is an extremely practical and very little theoretical path, and it is you, who decide to live it or leave it. Either you wish to go this way, take the responsibility for your life, learn yourself to know and find that, what I have found for yourself too, or you consider it to be nonsense, and move on to what is more interesting for you, a place, where you can get some more thrill or entertainment. My site is not an entertainment site, and that’s why there is no room for discussions. Questions you can ask me per mail, but only practical ones, after you already have started to move on this path to self-discovery, and not before.
Feedback and compliments I can live without, even if I am not entirely free from the vanity that we humans feel, when we are praised, and sometimes just curious what people may feel and think, while reading my writings. Yet self-observation shows me often enough how destructive and distractive the need for especially positive feedback can be, and that’s why I’m not going to prostitute myself like many others in order to get this feedback.